Say The Right Thing

It’s funny how social media works. Everyone’s out there to share something, to share bits of their lives through random or even beautifully crafted pictures, text or videos. We all do it, irrespective of the purpose, personal or professional.  Vacation or outfit posts, wedding or baby photos, fitness posts or even just selfies, the list of ‘type of social media shares’ is endless. It’s your profile and you’re the boss. While as a follower, there’s just one simple rule, which apparently most people on social media have forgotten – Don’t like it, stay out of it.

Each time I get a hate comment or message, I wonder, were these people never taught something as simple as this ‘If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all’. Instead of just unfollowing someone they don’t like or ignoring the post which they feel doesn’t suit their sensibility, why people have to be so negative or harsh about it. I won’t even get to the kind of hate DMs or comments I receive time to time, some of which are pretty mortifying. I am not even getting upset about it here, trust me I have a pretty thick skin, baby I am titanium. But, I am trying to call out this issue. It is cyber bullying. Not everyone has a thick skin as me, some people do take it to heart. Not everyone is having a great day and one negative remark can push someone over the edge.

Fat shaming, skinny shaming, slut shaming, rich shaming, fitness shaming, the shaming list has no end either. Everyone’s an expert on social media hiding behind those tiny screens ready to jump in with an opinion on each and every thing. You need to let people be, stay out of their business. No one has their social media profile up to please anyone but themselves and irrespective of what you see through pictures, everyone is fighting their own battles and no one deserves any kind of bullshit from an anonymous profile or a stranger on social media.

Why do you follow someone? Maybe you like their pictures or insights they share about food/fashion/travel or whatever. It is as simple as that. I don’t get it when people develop a twisted obsession with it where they feel entitled to have a say on someone’s life just because they follow someone. When you hit the follow button, you do it out of your own will, nobody forces you to. That person is a stranger to you and you are a stranger to them no matter what you’d like to believe unless you have had a personal interaction. Just like you wouldn’t want any stranger you come across walking down the road saying mean, hurtful, rude or atrocious things to you, the same way person you follow, doesn’t want it too.

Coming to feedback, you need to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy feedback. Further, you need to understand if the feedback is relevant or not. You follow someone for their work and take a dig at their personality or looks, that’s not feedback. You can only share your feedback, a healthy one that is, if it’s relevant to the work you follow them for. That is it! Not just that, you only earn the right to share a feedback when you also encourage the person or praise them when they put out good work. No, you don’t get to share negative feedback only. That’s just unfair. Moreover, while you are at it, check if you yourself are perfect that you expect others to be. Why has it become impossible for people to just ignore something they don’t like and move on. Why get all dark, it’s just social media, there’s a real world out there and that’s what counts. What you do with your lives, your real lives and not virtual lives, that’s what matters. I don’t care whatever the excuse is, jealousy, having a bad day, just being plain unhappy or having a sad life, you don’t get to take it out on other people. Your life is nothing but a series of consequences of every decision, small or big, you took and there’s always someone having it worse. It’s like, just because I am unhappy with my life, I’ll take it out on you. No!

Do you know, there are statistics reporting that 71% of young generation is concerned about cyber bullying! Out of that 71% not everyone has a thick skin and a ‘ignore, delete and block’ attitude. I know nobody’s perfect, it’s not possible to be on a happy unicorn island all the time and anyone can feel jealous, upset or even offended by someone else’s post. But do we need to go out and say out all the mean stuff to them? NO. Do we need to correct them? NO. Do we need to type every negative thought that comes to our mind? NO. People don’t realize but all this contributes to the big black hole of cyber bullying. Every time to put out anything negative, you’re a cyber bully.

Celebrity, socialites, bloggers, influencers, any public figure, anyone, you still have no right to be negative. You can have your opinion about them at a personal level, but the moment you type negative on their profile, that’s cyber bullying. Of course like most people, I ignore it, remember I have a thick skin, but I still like to call out bullshit at times because people must know that they are being a jerk. Again, all this doesn’t upset me but it worries me at a macroscopic level. You never know if one small negative sentence from you can push someone to take a radical step as they might already be struggling with something.

Social media is supposed to be an easy place, all about sharing bits and pieces of our days. Let’s not try to complicate it. While I will continue to ignore and block the bullcrap I get and call it out once in a while only to address the issue, I can only hope everyone gets a thick skin too because I doubt cyber bullying will ever end. However, I will still keep bugging you all to stay positive, not just to yourself but others too, and if you don’t like something, stay out of it! Be the bigger person, try to be a better version of yourself and focus on perfecting yourself. Treat people the same way you’d want to be treated.

Again, I am NOT ranting, this isn’t about me. I am only trying to start a conversation on cyber bullying and you can join in too!

Here are few pictures from the (bit of 70s inspired) look I shot today wearing this cute cycle print Noami Code top!

(Outfit Details: Naomi Code Top, Marks & Spencer Trousers, Prada Baroque Sunglasses, Hermès Dogon Wallet, Forever New Heels, H&M Hoops, Kazo Bracelet)

Much Love,

P

(Pictures clicked by Reshu Israni)