Fashion

Say The Right Thing

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It’s funny how social media works. Everyone’s out there to share something, to share bits of their lives through random or even beautifully crafted pictures, text or videos. We all do it, irrespective of the purpose, personal or professional.  Vacation or outfit posts, wedding or baby photos, fitness posts or even just selfies, the list of ‘type of social media shares’ is endless. It’s your profile and you’re the boss. While as a follower, there’s just one simple rule, which apparently most people on social media have forgotten – Don’t like it, stay out of it.

Each time I get a hate comment or message, I wonder, were these people never taught something as simple as this ‘If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all’. Instead of just unfollowing someone they don’t like or ignoring the post which they feel doesn’t suit their sensibility, why people have to be so negative or harsh about it. I won’t even get to the kind of hate DMs or comments I receive time to time, some of which are pretty mortifying. I am not even getting upset about it here, trust me I have a pretty thick skin, baby I am titanium. But, I am trying to call out this issue. It is cyber bullying. Not everyone has a thick skin as me, some people do take it to heart. Not everyone is having a great day and one negative remark can push someone over the edge.

Fat shaming, skinny shaming, slut shaming, rich shaming, fitness shaming, the shaming list has no end either. Everyone’s an expert on social media hiding behind those tiny screens ready to jump in with an opinion on each and every thing. You need to let people be, stay out of their business. No one has their social media profile up to please anyone but themselves and irrespective of what you see through pictures, everyone is fighting their own battles and no one deserves any kind of bullshit from an anonymous profile or a stranger on social media.

Why do you follow someone? Maybe you like their pictures or insights they share about food/fashion/travel or whatever. It is as simple as that. I don’t get it when people develop a twisted obsession with it where they feel entitled to have a say on someone’s life just because they follow someone. When you hit the follow button, you do it out of your own will, nobody forces you to. That person is a stranger to you and you are a stranger to them no matter what you’d like to believe unless you have had a personal interaction. Just like you wouldn’t want any stranger you come across walking down the road saying mean, hurtful, rude or atrocious things to you, the same way person you follow, doesn’t want it too.

Coming to feedback, you need to know the difference between healthy and unhealthy feedback. Further, you need to understand if the feedback is relevant or not. You follow someone for their work and take a dig at their personality or looks, that’s not feedback. You can only share your feedback, a healthy one that is, if it’s relevant to the work you follow them for. That is it! Not just that, you only earn the right to share a feedback when you also encourage the person or praise them when they put out good work. No, you don’t get to share negative feedback only. That’s just unfair. Moreover, while you are at it, check if you yourself are perfect that you expect others to be. Why has it become impossible for people to just ignore something they don’t like and move on. Why get all dark, it’s just social media, there’s a real world out there and that’s what counts. What you do with your lives, your real lives and not virtual lives, that’s what matters. I don’t care whatever the excuse is, jealousy, having a bad day, just being plain unhappy or having a sad life, you don’t get to take it out on other people. Your life is nothing but a series of consequences of every decision, small or big, you took and there’s always someone having it worse. It’s like, just because I am unhappy with my life, I’ll take it out on you. No!

Do you know, there are statistics reporting that 71% of young generation is concerned about cyber bullying! Out of that 71% not everyone has a thick skin and a ‘ignore, delete and block’ attitude. I know nobody’s perfect, it’s not possible to be on a happy unicorn island all the time and anyone can feel jealous, upset or even offended by someone else’s post. But do we need to go out and say out all the mean stuff to them? NO. Do we need to correct them? NO. Do we need to type every negative thought that comes to our mind? NO. People don’t realize but all this contributes to the big black hole of cyber bullying. Every time to put out anything negative, you’re a cyber bully.

Celebrity, socialites, bloggers, influencers, any public figure, anyone, you still have no right to be negative. You can have your opinion about them at a personal level, but the moment you type negative on their profile, that’s cyber bullying. Of course like most people, I ignore it, remember I have a thick skin, but I still like to call out bullshit at times because people must know that they are being a jerk. Again, all this doesn’t upset me but it worries me at a macroscopic level. You never know if one small negative sentence from you can push someone to take a radical step as they might already be struggling with something.

Social media is supposed to be an easy place, all about sharing bits and pieces of our days. Let’s not try to complicate it. While I will continue to ignore and block the bullcrap I get and call it out once in a while only to address the issue, I can only hope everyone gets a thick skin too because I doubt cyber bullying will ever end. However, I will still keep bugging you all to stay positive, not just to yourself but others too, and if you don’t like something, stay out of it! Be the bigger person, try to be a better version of yourself and focus on perfecting yourself. Treat people the same way you’d want to be treated.

Again, I am NOT ranting, this isn’t about me. I am only trying to start a conversation on cyber bullying and you can join in too!

Here are few pictures from the (bit of 70s inspired) look I shot today wearing this cute cycle print Noami Code top!

(Outfit Details: Naomi Code Top, Marks & Spencer Trousers, Prada Baroque Sunglasses, Hermès Dogon Wallet, Forever New Heels, H&M Hoops, Kazo Bracelet)

Much Love,

P

(Pictures clicked by Reshu Israni)

7 Comments

  1. TDGblog Admin

    November 14, 2017 at 2:03 am

    Hi Roanna,

    I am happy that liked my post and got what I was trying to convey here! Sorry couldn’t get back to you sooner because the comment notifications can get messed up at times but I am glad you took the time to go through this post and share your feedback and thoughts on the same 🙂
    Have a nice day!

  2. Roanna Fernandes

    September 19, 2017 at 5:27 pm

    Whatever you wrote about here is highly relevant, and I am glad that you did so. Thanks for going into it, a little past the surface! I know what you mean; I have not experienced cyber bullying yet but I know, in the past (from the point of the bully), I may have smirked or smiled to myself reading a mean/sarcastic/sly tweet someone may have written to/about someone famous/I know IRL (who I perhaps don’t like very much)… I am guilty of having done this or having thought this way. Quite shitty. However, I like that you pointed the difference between healthy/relevant criticism as opposed to attacks upon one’s personality or looks or whatever. (My comments are all over the place! I haven’t arranged them, not addressing your points in any order – mind you!) As I grow older and the more I use social media, I see how unhealthy it can be sometimes. Whether you are the operator of the account or part of the audience, it can get weird – time to time. I guess there needs to be some balance as well. It’s nice to be able to have that in the mind. I really think about folks who are famous on their social media accounts, and worry for how it must be like for them. I think (and hope) I understand it better now – in the sense of also, educating myself on how to be more aware, tolerate, mindful and kinder if I can. It is easy to point out an obvious trait in another person, say something in the heat of the moment thinking it is clever or relevant or think that you are perfectly free to express your opinion… I mean, one can. One is free to do that. But still, like you said – be mindful. If it is avoidable, leave it be. Don’t be mean for the sake of it! No one gains anything. And yes, it’s like – to the commenter – Do you really care? Do you really deem this necessary to do? Does this help, your criticisms? – If the answers are no, then your opinions matter not. And another yes to – yeah, things can’t be rosy all the time, I suppose. But all I mean is, no one is saying to support everyone… Just be tolerant. Just more human, more empathetic if you can. I am glad you wrote this.

  3. Shopkio

    July 26, 2017 at 10:35 am

    Great post!! really love this blog..

  4. AVISHI GUPTA

    July 9, 2017 at 3:36 pm

    One of the best articles I’ve read in the recent while. More power to you!

  5. TDGblog Admin

    July 8, 2017 at 5:44 am

    Hi Sonika, as I mentioned in the post, I am not ranting or sharing my plight. I am trying to communicate how cyber bullying is an issue. This article isn’t about me or what hate I get, or being famous. I guess you missed the point. I don’t care who still sends me hate messages and who doesn’t. I am immune to it, doesn’t bother me. But there are still people who aren’t immune to bullying. If you probably read the post again carefully you might understand what I am trying to communicate. Anyway, someone has to be a starting point of the conversation and if this article helps even one person get the bigger picture, my job is done. Some people do care, that’s another truth and ignorance isn’t always bliss. Doing something about a serious issue such as cyber bullying, even if just sharing a post on it, is always better than doing nothing.

  6. Prachi Dhadwal

    July 8, 2017 at 3:31 am

    Totally agree !! Haters gonna hate .

  7. Sonika

    July 8, 2017 at 3:15 am

    Hi Pallavi,
    Great post !
    But do you realise getting hated is a part of being famous? It’s one of those celebrity things, everything you do, every picture of you would be scrutinized.
    May be some of your hateful followers reads this post, how many of them you think would stop sending you these texts?? You know why? Because people are selfish and everyone cares about themselves.

    You need to find a mechanism to ignore these people completely, like celebrities does or you are just harming yourself.

    No one really cares, thats the harsh truth !

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